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"Ramblings From The Void Within"

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"The Beginning of The End5"

New Year, New Me. Resurfacing Again

New year, new me
Resurfacing again.
Am i new, is this old.
What am i this year?
Reborn am I or is this old?
Time will only tell.
I feel like I've been awakened once more.
Fresh and vibrant, unlike before.
I will conquer FEAR, I say.
But is it beyond my grasp?
Feeling like I've awakened my inner self.
But is this just old feelings from the past?
Trying so hard to be free, to be me. To live like there is no tomorrow and not to be like before.
Like the past or the rest. To be free  and unburdened. . To fly high above the clouds like a phantom.
Soaring up above, through the vapor of the puffy white goodness. To be free and unburdened. Free?
What a concept, to be free. Is anyone ever really free? What is your definition of free? Unburdened?
Free: enjoying personal rights or liberty, as a person who is not in slavery. That's one definition.
But how do we become free of  the prison in one's mind? To be truly gifted with one's own freedom?
To be able to do something at will; at liberty. "free to choose" To be liberated in one's own mind.
I choose to be me. Whatever that may mean. Trying to find myself this year. The "real" me.
Deep within myself. To the places that the light has forgotten to shine upon in the many vast years that came before this time. This year. To find myself and set it free, from it's cage, deep inside me.
To shine a light so bright yet so soft as to not burn it all away. To let it shimmer into my darkness.
Unlocking the enclosure of my inner being. The part of me that was locked away when i was a child.
To protect my true self. But what or who am I? The real me. The me that is yet to be discovered.
Will I like me or hate me. If old hidden me meets the me of today... Will their be war? Pain?
Suffering? Will the former try to kill the latter? or Vice Versa? Will we conjoin and make nice?
Anxiety, my enemy. Surrounding me with fear and pain. Will I conquer fear? Or will it conquer me?
The new year (2018) can be a bright new beginning. A fresh start. The start of a beautiful beginning.
Slowly I try to change myself, into someone more familiar to my inner soul. My true self.
Merging the in with the out. Becoming one. Becoming whole. Merging the in with the out.
Will I be able to remove my mask? Unmasking can be so vulnerable and scary.
Will I continue to keep myself in my prison? My mind and my body? My world a small cage.
Time will only tell. Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Ticking away the seconds, minutes, days go by.